Tuesday, March 25, 2025

Day 15 It is usual

 It is usual that I’m sitting at the window with my coffee. It is usual that I’m listening to the birds. It is usual that my companion du jour is working while I sit at the window drinking coffee and listening to birds. It is usual that my eyes are fogged and my sinuses clogged. 

What is not usual is that I got up before 9.

I’m looking for glimmers, those things that bring joy. My friend shared the concept with me. It’s the opposite of a trigger. You have to be aware for either thing, I think. Or at least your body does. I spend the days surrounded by glimmers and triggers, and my body reacts to them as does my mood, but my mind is less aware. It is usual for me to get up, feeling vaguely depressed and disinclined to do anything. But it is not usual for me to be aware of what causes that feeling. Is it physical or emotional? Or is it both?

It is usual for me to flounder in my feelings.

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